How NOT to handle bad breath

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We’ve all been there. You round the corner to your cubical ready to start the day’s work when you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.

“Here we go again…”, you imagine. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that will not ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy attempting to keep it from permeating my nose.”

“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess explained ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn is an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”

Somehow, we’d like to believe our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there’s something less than stellar about the way they are coming across. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. The problem is that no one knows they have a problem. We seem to be immune to our own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.

So how can you tell someone that their breathe is making you have a problem differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, whether it’s someone you know and are comfortable with, you can test honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own set of problems. Do you play it off like it’s a one-time occurrence you merely noticed and hope that mentioning it takes care of the situation for good? Do you sit them down and also have a serious discussion which could ultimately embarrass them or cause you to appear to be the bad person? How will they react to either scenario? You’d wish to be told if you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Would you feel comfortable being told by this person who you have bad breath? You don’t know them sufficiently to be discussing this example with them?

They are all important questions whose answers will change with each unique situation. Still, there are several things you can avoid saying which are universal across all situations. I have taken the liberty of listing a few of them below. Remember, honesty is the greatest policy, but brutal honesty is often unnecessary.

# 1 Gee, is your breath or did I blow my nose right after wiping my ass?

# 2 And now here’s me with the weather: Thanks, me! Well it looks like there’s a stank front moving due east from wherever the mouth area happens to be. We’re looking at a 100% potential for Halitosis throughout the rest you will ever have. Sports is next accompanied by today�s lottery numbers. Stay Tuned!

# 3 https://kodomonioi.exblog.jp/ don’t mean to be rude however your horrible breath is melting my face. To possess to stand here and pay attention to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever note that “Alien” movie where in fact the alien is sucking in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes as the thing is so scary and because it’s saliva can be an acid that can eat through metal? That is a lot like that because despite the fact that your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will which is scaring the crap outta me, my friend. Again, I don’t mean to be rude…

This is why, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty isn’t always the best policy. Even better, why not just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.

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