How NOT to handle bad breath

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We’ve all been there. You across the corner to your cubical ready to start the day’s work while you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.

“Here we go again…”, you think. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that will not ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy attempting to keep it from permeating my nose.”

“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess explained ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn is an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”

Somehow, we’d like to believe that our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there surely is something less than stellar concerning the way they are sounding. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. キラハクレンズ is that no one knows they have a problem. We seem to be immune to our own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.

So how do you tell someone that their breathe is making you are having issues differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, if it’s someone you know and are comfortable with, you can try honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own set of problems. Do you play it off like it is a one-time occurrence you merely noticed and hope that mentioning it requires care of the situation once and for all? Do you sit them down and also have a serious discussion which could ultimately embarrass them or make you appear to be the bad person? How will they respond to either scenario? You’d wish to be told if you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Would you feel comfortable being told by this person that you have bad breath? Do you really know them sufficiently to be discussing this situation with them?

These are all important questions whose answers will vary with each unique situation. Still, there are some things you can avoid saying which are universal across all situations. I’ve taken the liberty of listing those hateful pounds below. Remember, honesty is a good policy, but brutal honesty is frequently unnecessary.

# 1 Gee, is your breath or did I blow my nose right after wiping my ass?

# 2 And now here’s me with the weather: Thanks, me! Well it looks like there’s a stank front moving due east from wherever the mouth area happens to be. We’re considering a 100% chance of Halitosis throughout the rest of your life. Sports is next accompanied by today�s lottery numbers. Stay Tuned!


# 3 I don’t mean to be rude but your horrible breath is melting my face. To have to stand here and listen to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever see that “Alien” movie where in fact the alien is breathing in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes because the thing is indeed scary and because it’s saliva is an acid that may eat through metal? This is a lot like that because even though your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will and that is scaring the crap outta me, my pal. Again, I don’t mean to be rude…

So you see, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty isn’t always the best policy. Better yet, you will want to just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.

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